I am not a Super Star

I am not a Super Star
Neither do I own lots of money

As billions of pounds, dollars or dinars

Do not promise to make me happy!

I am just another commoner

Someone plain, simple and ordinary 

Neither very rich nor extremely poor

Like many others...I am just me

Many beautiful things I could not afford to buy

Exclusive circles which don't want me to stop by

No private jets to escape the crowd, no cards to show off in cutting queues

My story stays the same...nothing new

I am not a Super Star
But I do posses expensive love

Free for trade with those who appreciate

My circles are clans and friends

Who are exclusively sincere without pretence

I own personal private times to do whatever I like

To eat, wear, walk and talk whatever and however deem right

No fans to please, to judge, to satisfy or testify

My stories will always be around me, myself and I - same but never lame

Nothing new...because they are no fake but true

I am not a Super Star
Neither do I wish to be

A common public member is who I am

But in being common, I know where I stand

I follow the queue, I obey the rules

But never take my obedience for granted

For I fight with no fear if I am violated

I defend the rights of those who are wrongly fooled

A prayer on the eve of an anniversary

Walking down the memory lane

The path is MasyaAllah so beautiful and lovely

Even though some lanes unleash old pain

Others are mostly pictures of happy stories

Nine years ago on this very same date

Fate made two persons united from classmates as soul mates

At first it was wierd living with a friend as husband and wife

Alhamdulillah for the good things bestowed upon our life

Neither a second of regret nor bore

We are indeed embarassed to ask for more

But, for the sake of a better tomorrow

Please Allah, hear our prayers as we renew our vow

O' Allah,

Allow us to create many more memorable lanes in the years to come

Shower us, our parents, family, friends and the muslimin with love in Islam

Grant us the patience to survive dunya in Iman

Bless our souls with mercy in Barzakh wa Akhirah fil Jannah

Ameen

Happy 9th Anniversary to us

5-12-2012

You

All this while I thought I understood

The feeling of being in need and empty

I am sorry if I have not done what I should

The reality shows that now I am lonely

Have I thank you enough

For all your sincere sacrifices

For listening during difficult times and making me laugh

For making my stupid cries sound wise
For being in reach at all times no matter how tough
For pulling me up when I fall and giving good advices

Thank you for making us perfectly spliced

You are a man of action, never was of words

Yes we fight (sometimes)! But our mind would eventually concur

This is more than love and  for me that is beyond suffice

In you I learned that trust should never be compromised

A walk in English Summer

This summer has been sober

It is like all season without sunshine

Could not rely on the forecast either

Rain drops hit on me when it says 'Today will be fine'

One morning the sun finally smile

Warm breeze passed by to kiss

Alas! Summer is here after quite a while

Everybody is out with style...bliss!

Out comes the mini shorts and flip-flops

Sun glasses, singlets and skirts

Then you'll see walking bodies with no tops

Sunbathing or playing squirts

Would you mind walking with me to Regents Park?

I want to feed the ducks, pigeons and the beautiful white swan

It is still long before dark

Plenty of time to have some fun 

Come on...let me take you to the wide green field

Can you see the squirrels on the dancing trees?

This is where I come to get the sored heart healed

Feel the wind, smell the acacia scent...hmmm peace

 Down the other end is the English garden

Tall and round water fountain greets the entrance

Pink roses, purple lavenders, yellow iris, coreopsis golden

In winter when everything is white or grey, you'll miss their presence







Myself, my friend Azy and my sister, Nora at The English Garden in Regents Park London

                                

Talking souls

'Why aren't you asleep my love
What is bothering your mind
Daily work will never be solved
Just close your eyes and let it unwind'

'It is so quiet, soundless, still and silence
Deep inside is loneliness..doubting if this is worthwhile
Longing for your presence..resisting the absence
Many times I wish to wake up with sunshine upon your smile'

'This is not easy my love, but soon it will end
See...We have now made it this far
We are soulmates, the 'bestest' friends
This distance is powerless to change who we are'

'Your words are always comforting
Even though traces of sorrow persist
Perhaps this sadness is aggravating
We should not allow regrets to exist
You are in my life as I am in yours, the 'bestest' gift'

Apakah rasa itu

Apakah rasa itu
Suatu sentuhan dalam hati
Jauh tertanam di sanubari
Tak nampak dilihat, tetapi dirasai

Apakah rasa itu
Makin hari makin meninggi
Selagi ianya tidak ditemui
Makin hari makin sepi

Apakah rasa itu
Kadang-kadang indah sekali
Mulalah disebut-sebut acap kali
Tetapi, ada juga menyusahkan diri

Namanya rasa itu
Hanya empunya diri yang tahu
Tak boleh disebut kerana malu
Tapi tak larat nak disimpan selalu

Kuala Lumpur-London and in between

10,549 kilometers..6,555miles

Distance between the heart and mind

It's a choice willingly taken, so should not rile

A choice the heart and mind consistently twined

Kuala Lumpur is where the heart stays

London is where physically placed

It's hard to settle down in one space

When the heart and mind choose seperate ways

The heart expects the mind to understand

The mind thought the heart would comprehend

How could it be.. they talk a different langguage at a different frequency

That's why they end up confused, you see?

Kuala Lumpur-London..not that far but beyond reach

In between is an empty space, as empty as this heart, which the mind tries to ignore

It's bothering and teasing every second - while asleep, eat, run or sit

Thats when counting the days started..making it endless even more!

Maybe the teleport should exist after all

One blink to be here, two blinks to be there

Sounds scary aye!..but better than long distance phone calls

Definitely better than talking to Mr Teddy Bear!

Skype and instance messages does help...but its makes KL-LON even far and wide

Never-ever the same as having the person you love by your side.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJNRyB_rkt8&feature=related

Trying hard not to miss you

Trying hard not to 'miss you'

During the hectic days and the lonely nights

Keeping ourselves busy with things-to-do

Most of the times, we can't think right

Trying to pretend 'everything's okay'

Couldn't lie even if we wanted to

In truth, our mind constantly on someone far away

Because... 'I truely miss you'

One say 'Good morning love', the other replied 'Sweet dreams love, Good night'
Couldn't Skype when time is tight

Just a quick 'Hello, I miss you'

Most of the time, its Whatsapp to the rescue

This is dificult but it is possible

Others don't and will never understand

We have 'us' to take responsible

We have Him to seek mercy for a helping hand

8th March 2012

Today is the 8th of March in 2012

Unfamiliar feelings raise with the morning light

Complicated mixed emotion starts to shelve

Trying not to worry as it bring nothing but blinded insight

This undescribable feeling puts energy to pause

Like a static ball in a speeding circuit

Draws away rational reason for cause

The deeper involved, the farther it drags from exit

It is neither sadness, frustration nor stress

Only God knows what would describe it best

Some things are better left unaddress

For it may be an omen of bless

Double Three

Double three

Three after thirty

The number sounds lucky

If that is so, let it be

Double three

Many did not even pass twenty

Some stop sharp at thirty

If extended to forty or beyond fifty

Will there be substance in maturity

Double three

Generously given chances and opportunity

If  being called unexpectedly

Can these questions be answered satisfyingly..

Has wealth been shared with the needy?

Has enough seeds planted for jariah tree?

Have sins been repent repeatedly?

Has contribution been given to religion and society?

Most importantly..are you ready?

At double three

This prayer is said whole heartedly

O Allah The Mighty..

Cross my path to those with sincerity

Lead and protect this heart from impurity

Guide this life worth living, not wasted stupidly

Before I go..please forgive me
When I have to go, please make my love ones be with me

When I am going, please take me gently, softly with sympathy
When I am gone, please Allah..bless my jariah tree grow beautifully

When I come to you..please embrace me with love and mercy

Amen

Phd Dilemma

Feeling worry, worry, worry

For everything to be

The 'ifs', the 'shoulds'

The 'woulds' and 'coulds'

Want to get over this phd fast, fast, fast

Exhausted brain strained 24/7

Can't wait for all this be the past

Back to balance and even

Time is ticking..tick-tick-tick

Struggle-juggle to streamline

Swim, dive, run and even flying kick

Anything! as not to be left behind

When duedate comes..how I wish to rewind time!

No..I shall not decline!

Shall not cry nor whine

Bring here all the deadlines!

Don't care if due dates are unkind

Lets have them all defined, designed, outlined, refined, unwind, presented in folders nicely bind

But Yet! still in a peace state of mind!

(All the best my friends no matter at which stage you are; lets us pray for each other . May Allah bless us with a peaceful mind and strength)

Empty Head

It is late..the clock shows eight

Stuck on the office chair, pilled up with papers

A lot more to evaluate.. this work is making me suffocate

One thing that can be of help is an oxygen ventilator

Is it this empty tummy or the night is super cold

Owh, no wonder...the heater is switched off

Of course.. it is centrally controlled

No one else but me and my close friends - spss and microsoft

A little bit more to complete this sentence

The last three words before the fullstop

Spinning thinking but lacking of substance

Time is running..tick-tock, tick-tock

Another pint of coffee please

Lets dip in 2 or three more cookies

And eat the last slice of cake, it says 'low calorie' recipies

Also lunch leftovers - pizza with extra cheese

Woops..it is now nine!

Nothing accomplished but high Na like drinking normal saline

One hour passed, no complete sentence not even a line

I think its time to forget the deadline

Lets go home, while my head is still aligned

Run away

I wish to run away,

Far from everything, everyone

Alone, just me and a glimpse of ray

To leave behind what is left undone

I wish to run away,
Far to a magic place nobody has ever found

Free from expectations and commitments

My own sweet time to lie on the ground, enjoy the melody of no sound

Relish the indifference and unconditioned

I wish to run away,
To live my life as how I wish to live

To the person I wish to be with

To the day victory has arrive

To be free and once again relive!

Actually, its almost nine
I realy do have to run away

Far from my workstaion

Had enough coffee and headache to call it a day

Should be heading home for dinner to satify my starvation!

Snow Boot

There is this pretty snow boot

Its black with zip and matches my suit

The sticker says..wow! eighty pounds!

What a price..I am so astound

The next day snow falls and covers the street

The road turn muddy and slippery

I neary slipped off my feet

Phew..that was close to casualty!

 Oowh..should have grabbed that snow boot yesterday

I hope it is still on display

There is another pretty one in grey

But mind you the price, I dare not pay!

Should I buy or should I not

Winter is only once a year

But snow boot, I have never bought

Perhaps just wait untill they want the old stocks clear

                     "Today, tomorrow no snow"

                     That is what Mr Forecast say

                     But the temperature will be -3celcius & below

                     Oowh.."please, please snow" I pray

                      I have not make Mrs Snowman

                      And a few more pictures to shoot

                      A lot more to do in my plan

                     Owh well..at least now I can forget about the     
                     snow boot!

Should?

Should we regret in what was chosen?
For what was not, could be worse
Should we rest and see our dreams frozen?
For it may brings freedom from a curse

Should we rage when prayers not answered?
For the answered ones so bountiful
Should not fate be rest-assured?
For that makes life less stressful

Should not faith lie only to HIM, the most Merciful?
For HE is the one and only who holds our string
Should not guidance be sought only from HIM, our Lord the Greatful?
For HE knows best when drought changes to spring

MY BOAT, MY STREAM

Have you heard?
Row, row, row your boat
Gently own the stream
Merily, merily, merily..life is just a dream?

Boat..the age, the longer I live, the further it takes me explore
Stream..the absolute path destined for me
This dream feels real, false promises that is hard to ignore
This is what I see, should I care if you disagree?

WORDS & EMOTIONS

I asked for reassurance
It was not an act to seek an answer
For this fragile heart may have no patience
If once again it shatter

There are words not in existence to describe all thoughts
Leaving us speechless in our own plot
There are unknown emotions that may be out of control
It shows when one trueself unfolds

When wrong words were put together
Rarely good, mostly disaster
When the unknown emotions left untamed
It sets fire and flame

No Words

I thought of creating a beautiful poem
So I ly down on the bed facing the wall
Just now was 8pm, oh dear now is 10
I am still lying on the bed starring at the wall
Tired eyes, exhausted head..with an ipad still in hand
Should I wait for the clock to go another round
Oh dear, this feeling is more depressing than it sounds!

SOMEBODY ELSE BUT YOU

When I needed somebody
You were not here
When I needed you
There was somebody else

I am human no angel
My heart is thin as paper
Love & lust mixed like water colour
Is this betrayal or survival?

I love you, I miss you, I long for you
But...sigh...
When I needed somebody, you were not here

When I needed you, there was somebody else

REMEMBER

Remember the first time our eyes met
It was a 'yes'
Remember the first time our secret made known
It was a 'really?'

Remember the question 'Will you be my Queeny?'
It was eternity
Remember the day we say our vow
It was pure white as snow

Remember the promises we promised
It was trust not lust
Remember the smile which took our breath away
It is still here on our face everyday

Remember the ups and downs we survived
It was us hand-in-hand united
Remember our dreams yet to see
It is open for us to beg HIS mercy