It has been so long time since the last entry. I was caught up in so many events and just had the time to sit and pen down a few words. Well, like anyone cares about it anyway!
Writing to buy time for my own pleasure, hopefully this can give a little peace of mind. This is month 20 of my PhD course; the stress is getting more intense - uh uh...not friendly at all. I am so stressed up that I wish to run away, eat chocolate cakes, fly a kite on the beach and not think about anything related to working. When you are thinking too much about something (or someone), the world seems to be up side down. I think I am already half way cracking under pressure - just gobbled six chocolate cookies a minute ago, and I still have space for a whole chocolate cake!
My parent had safely flown back home two weeks ago. I should be savouring sadness to be here without them, but I was too occupied to drag the sense of loneliness a little longer. Thanks to my sister, Nora who stayed behind until November. I have already moved in to a new place, a cosy cute studio in London's city centre. Now, do not fancy a posh looking apartment. Technically, 10 steps from the entrance door is the bed, another 15 steps or so is the kitchenette and take 10 steps forward; that is the bathroom. Nevertheless, it is alright...I am considered lucky to get that much of space within a reasonable rental in the middle of the city. The main advantage is savings on transportation from monthly commitment of £112 slashed down to £50. Not bad aye. The dreadful side is...it is just walking distance to Oxford Street! Oh my...got to hold my pocket tight!
Now back to academic progress - I had a meeting with my supervisor an hour ago. The meeting was so fruitful that...honestly I think I need a break. There are many ideas to think about and more knowledge to explore (this means many more papers to read!). The meeting today was about understanding the fundamental of a randomised control trial (RCT) in a clinical practice research. The element 'clinical practice' makes an RCT very challenging because there is no Right or Wrong answer to the research design. The subjective component embedded in clinical practice makes me have to be really good in defending the pragmatic approach of the study design. GOSH...writing about this makes me suffocate...Arrgghh!
Anyways...life needs to go on. At this moment, the remaining 16 months seems to be so short of time - I MUST and I HAVE to get this DONE no matter what happen, InsyaAllah.
So, my resolution for the week is...TAKE A BREAK TO CAMBRIDGE! Will be joining Abangchik, Lyn, Nora and Mr Baby Qalif. Wallawei..I hope this coming two days trip will unwind my mind and put together the scattered clouds of ideas.
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