From Bus 453 to Purple Lavenders

Run..run..run..uphh! Not fast enough to catch bus number 453. Rattling knees and lazy bum hindered me from running faster. Oh well, it was 0730hrs on the first day of Ramadhan and without proper sahur (I over slept!). There were two missed wake-up call from Zaitul at 0230am. I could have had 45 minutes of sahur if I heard the alarm clock. Such a long explanation - hope that would make a good excuse of failing to speed up for a bus waiting just 250 meters away!  I was never a sprinter, but seriously...it was like a hint to renew the gym membership.

The next bus arrived in less than a minute. I walked up the red double deck and settled down on the very front row facing the big windscreen. A bus ride from Baker Street to St Thomas' Hospital is an approximately 40 minutes journey and passes through several interesting places around London city. First,  the peaceful green scenery of Regents Park, then the 'temptation spots' which are Oxford Street and Piccadilly Circus - because memory works better in pictorial and colours,  I can practically remember most of the 50% and 80% sale adverts of the high street brands! Further down the road would be the four black lion statues of Trafalgar Square and finally the busy yet beautiful Westminster Bridge above the River Thames where Big Ben stands tall and London Eye never stops spinning. That was where I stopped to reach the hospital across the road.  

Passing through this route routinely fades away the excitement,  but I never bore walking along the Westminster Bridge. It  reminds me of the lovely evening spent with my husband on the River Thames cruise. Back to that day, I had no clue the hospital located beside the river would be one of my data collection sites.

There is a bunch of bloomed lavenders at the sidewalk to the hospital. Some how out of no where, the combination of their purple colour and refreshing smell reminded me of the people I know who have passed away - my grand parents who filled up my childhood memory, my father-in-law a soft-spoken man full of love and a few of my friends whom I learned about thier death through Facebook notifications. No one knows if this would be our last Ramadhan. No one knows if we would still be here until the endmost day of Ramadhan. Death is so certain and very near, yet few of us are aware of its presence.

May I please take you to 1980 something, perhaps 1984 when I was 4 or 5 years old. That year, I realised there is no such thing as the Peter Pan world - children will grow up to become adults and adults to elderly, and the cycle repeats itself as and how God has had it arranged...I was very  upset with my mother for bringing me to this world. It was such a selfish act when I asked  mother  "Mama...if you know that I, one day will die, why did you bring me here? Why did you not let me remain in heaven?" What made me angry most back then was the fact that one day my parent will no longer exist! Many years later, life taught me that death does not come in sequence of age. When I graduated and started a career at the hospital setting, I could not disagree with many others out there who chose health as their outmost precious property. We may be less stable economically or renting a house while others own it or could not afford a private transport while others drive luxury cars or longing for a child while others disowned theirs, desperate for a partner while others are happily married and many more in the 'wish list'. Just imagine, if we have all those but not health...will our 'wish list' remain the same?

I would like to take this opportunity to share this Ramadhan prayer from dearest Datin Fadilah - a person who has many roles in my life. Starting from as my boss, motivator, then ex-boss, then a dear friend, a constant personal preacher and sometimes as a mother too:

"O Allah make us among those who observe fasting during Ramadhan and establish prayers during the nights of Ramadhan out of sincere Faith and hoping for the reward" 

Salam Ramadhan to you my dear readers.