Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A prayer on the eve of an anniversary


Photo: happy sokmo  
where ever...when ever


























Walking down the memory lane
The path is MasyaAllah so beautiful and lovely
Even though some lanes unleash old pain
Others are mostly pictures of happy stories

Nine years ago on this very same date
Fate made two persons united from classmates as soul mates
At first it was wierd living with a friend as husband and wife
Alhamdulillah for the good things bestowed upon our life


Neither a second of regret nor bore
We are indeed embarassed to ask for more
But, for the sake of a better tomorrow
Please Allah, hear our prayers as we renew our vow

O' Allah,
Allow us to create many more memorable lanes in the years to come
Shower us, our parents, family, friends and the muslimin with love in Islam
Grant us the patience to survive dunya in Iman
Bless our souls with mercy in Barzakh wa Akhirah fil Jannah
Ameen

Happy 9th Anniversary to us
5-12-2012

Monday, November 26, 2012

Gloomy

Why...why...why am I having this down moment?  Could this be the Monday Blues Syndrome? If that is so...oh my, I have not experienced this for a long time. Today is one of those days of tiresome and exhaustion even before the day starts. The drizzle rain made the gloomy day dark and it is not helping at all. It was 0900hr and am still at the studio in pyjamas. How I wish for a full body massage with lavender scented essential oil to get those stiff muscle straightened and relaxed especially around the scapula. O' Allah please don't misunderstood me...Alhamdulillah it rains and thank you Allah for giving me another day to live and worship you. But, I am feeling so down and sleepy, my eyes are sore and my shoulder aches.  Like it or not, I dragged myself off the warm comfy bed and by 12 noon I forced myself to school.  

I took a glance look at the 'to-do list'. The three things listed for today were - continue writing the Introduction chapter of the thesis (supposed to be done this morning when I was busy in bed); meeting on funding for the second study with the supervisors, and finalise the SSI form for hospital R&D application. Frankly speaking, there was no sense of excitement at all...my brain just froze. Dong...Dong...The bell from the red church on Tavistock Street strikes two. O' dear Allah, it is already 1400hr - half of my day has gone unproductive. 

While I am typing this entry, there was 6 people in the research centre including me. Everyone (except me) seems busy - the only music is the sound produced from pressing the computer keyboards, papers being flipped and clipped, and water boiling from the coffee corner. It is so quite, so bored and very depressing. I wanted to shout and scream to force the air molecules to vibrate and produce some real noise! So I stood up, open my mouth wide and sang my heart out "I believe I can FLY... I believe I can TOUCH the SKY...Flip my wings and FLY AWAY...to where my heart wants to STAY". Oh yeah that was a relief!

"O dear! Kc...you can sing?"
"I can do many awkward things when I'm stressed"

 I am missing home...I am missing him




Saturday, November 24, 2012

Couples

My oyster card remained empty for almost a week. Within this period I travel to and back from school on foot - 20 to 30 minutes walk each route depending on my speed of the day. Why am I doing this? Perhaps for three main reasons. First - the 1hour 'walking time'  gives the mind some space to think in a relaxing environment.  Second, it contributes to an extra 1 hour to the existing I2 hours 'off the bed and work station' and third...saves £52 of this month's pocket from public transport. I would say a reasonably good healthy deal ;)

It took me 2 days to push away the regrets of not topping up the Oyster and to put away the thoughts of 'this is taking me forever'! However from day 3 onwards, I become addicted - I look forward every morning and late evening for a brisk walk. I truely enjoy the walk in the breezy wind (and sometimes friendly English rain), no sweat (yes! the perfume and deodorant sweet scent stay the whole day) and the one  thing I enjoy most is watching people on the streets. I came across a few funny scenes like what we usually see in movies - a young lady lifting her mini skirt to pull up the thermal stokings at the bus stop infront of Maddan Tussaud; a man with an umbrella that just simply flips sides one windy rainy morning - just like Mathew Popins (instead of Marry popins)!

There is one particular behaviour I have been observing - how couples at different age walk and talk on the streets. Couples who giggles alot and 'hug-walking' as if the whole world has paused for them are generally the very young.  I prefer not to walk behind them when approaching narrow pavement  for the sake of reserving precious time. They look cute but far from romantic. The second type of couple holds take away coffee, the male usually tucks a newspaper under the armpit, and the female - ooo love that heels! I have to jog to catch up withnthem because they dont walk... they march side by side, stop at a point, then turn, exchange hugs and kisses and in a split second turn away in seperate directions and dissapear. One goes down the underground station, the other elswhere. Well, perhaps this is the couple of a long term relationship with career commitments. They look smart and dress decently...but hey, seriously take a break.

The couples in the third category is the elderly. They walk arm in arm peacefully and wait patiently for each other to take one step at a time. "Are you cold honey, take my jacket" ... "Thank you dear,  but I'm fine"... "Tell me if you need it"... "Sure, don't worry about me". They must have shared their whole life together. They look so sweet, so calm and so romantic. No kisses no huggies but their touch around each other's arm is so forever loving.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

If I am a politician

Isn't the lady in this picture pretty? That was me working at the pharmacy a few years ago. Do you believe this claim? Better not because it is not true (Gotcha sleepy head!). The only truth is I am a Pharmacist (no joke). However, since I graduated in 2002, there was only one person who assured me that I have chosen the right profession and she was my lecturer (the opinion could be bias). The majority of my friends and family members thought otherwise. Out of ten polls on opinions of what type of profession would my personality fit in, six claimed that I should have been an academician, two said I might better off be a politician and one each for lawyer and in marketing field respectively. Not even a single vote for either doctor, nurse or dentist..and what more pharmacist. Ouch! How heart breaking...4 years of undergraduate and currently halfway struggling postgraduate study in 'Pharmacy' I have yet to hear someone to tell me that I work close to any profession oin the medical field. Last week, a stanger I met at Heathrow airport made a guess that I was an architecture student! Oh dear, so far away from my league, I wonder what type of art she saw in me. Do you think increasing my sample size would have given a different result? I am not convinced because the opinions have been the same for the past 10 years.

In view of the high possibility of Malaysia having the general election any time this year, in this entry I would like to write about what I wish to do if I am a poltician - the Minister of Women, Family and Community Development. Now, now Malaysian friends...be kind not to relate me with any 'cow' scandals. Lets see if you still think I should be a poltician rather than a pharmacist by the end of this article:

If I am given the oppotunity to play the role as the Minister of Women, Family and Community Development; I would like to fight for flexible working schedule working schedule for female employees. Before we proceed, this is my disclaimer: I do not have education background in political or social science, most of my points are from my personal observation and what I read from the internet and not representing any political parties. 

Current scenario: Women are multitaskers - career women 0800-1700hr, mother and wife 24hr. An early start at 0500hr to get the kids ready for school (or nursery for infants) then race towards the highway before 0700hr in order to get ahead of the traffic jam. Later on, rush to fetch the kids  within the one hour lunch break and back to office for the remaining hours. Later in the evening, got trapped in the traffic for almost an hour or two before reaching home, exhausted.  The responsibility continues to have dinner ready, oversee children's homework, get bits and pieces of household errands done before a bedtime (which may be interupted by wailing baby cries). The routine repeats itself on the following day. Owh wait...there could be some urgent office work to be completed at home at night. Some of us may argue - husbands would do halve of the tasks, there is a maid to get things done, school buses and day care to handle the kids after school. The truth is, not everyone can afford such luxury (even though these have become neccesities nowadays).  Eventhough we may have all the above mentioned support - there is still insufficient quality time for love ones by the end of the day. The nature of our work could be different but however, if it is well planned ahead we may have the chance to have a big chunk done from home - effectively!

Ideas: Flexible working schedule for female employee.  This option is available but is not open to all sectors.  

Possible ways for implementation: Option for  flexible salary scheme (by number of working hours OR number of days working at home with a designated period in a year) which comes with performance and quality indicators. This option should be opened to all through a proper application and carefully selected candidates; perhaps some interviews and refelection of previous performance. Applicants who deem suitable for the scheme will be given a trial period and those who manage to perform within this period will be given the option as to whether they would like to continue with the scheme. The scheme is not permenant and can be withdrawn if they do not performe up to expectation.

Why should we have this: Having this idea in place, employers pay for the amount of hours being committed and the female employees have the flexibility to manage thier career and family life. I strongly believe that happy women build happy families; happy families create good foundation for successful generation and a successful generation is the hope of our nation!

I acknowldege that it easier to write on paper than having it implemented...but why not give a try. If this is made available, are you not tempted to participate? I would!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

You


All this while I thought I understood
The feeling of being in need and empty
I am sorry if I have not done what I should
The reality shows that now I am lonely

Have I thank you enough
For all your sincere sacrifices
For listening during difficult times and making me laugh
For making my stupid cries sound wise
For being in reach at all times no matter how tough
For pulling me up when I fall and giving good advices
Thank you for making us perfectly spliced

You are a man of action, never was of words
Yes we fight (sometimes)! But our mind would eventually concur
This is more than love and  for me that is beyond suffice
In you I learned that trust should never be compromised

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Challenges facing Clinical Pharmacy practice

'Clinical Pharmacy' needs no further introduction to pharmacists as it is the heart of pharmaceutical care. It has many peripheral specialised pharmacy knowledge that are equally vital to optimise the quality of health care. During the recent 2012 UK Renal Pharmacy Conference [1], this topic was well elaborated by Dr Chris Green [2]. Even though the discussion focused on the challenges facing clinical pharmacy in the UK National Health Service (NHS), I believe this is a global issue in the pharmacy world.

In the introduction of his talk, Dr Chris Green mentioned what pharmacists can learn from the Olympics. If we are the losing team, be a Challenger and ask ourselves ‘What can we do to close the gap?’ If we are the Record Holder, ask ourselves ‘What can we do to improve?’ If we are the Team Manager ask ourselves ‘How can we aggregate the marginal achievements?’ The cumulative answers will determine our current scale and what we should be aiming for and how long are we are willing to wait to achieve it. The following paragraphs may be using examples relevant to the practice in Malaysia, therefore I would like to apologise to my non-Malaysian readers. Neverthelss, we may share some basic principles.  

It is important for us to first accept the fact that the task in facing the challenges is the responsibility of the individual professionals forming the profession. This simply means it is OUR responsibility. Many of us, for many reasons, regard the responsibility entirely to the MPS, PSD, MoH [3] or the individuals holding certain posts and positions in the managerial level - an irresponsible dogma that should be eliminated as it brings more harm than good to us all. If this is not to your agreement, I doubt the content of this article would be an interest to you. You may want to stop reading at this point or carry on with an open mind. This article is written with the intention of sharing information and hopefully to inspire more pharmacists to move out from their current comfortable cocoon.

Dr Chris laid out five challenges or potential opportunities (depending to our individual perspective) that the profession or precisely WE need to tackle in order to place clinical pharmacy in the ground of our health care system, namely:

1. Leadership
2. Innovations
3. Clinical developments
4. Patient safety
5. Education & Training


Leadership

There is a reason for Leadership being first in the list - clearly stated realistic vision. Leadership is also important to initiate and sustain the wind of progressive changes. I have a simple analogy to share, carefully read these next three sentences: Strong leadership is the foundation of any successful organisation. A successful organisation has leadership qualities at all levels. All levels must be willing to be lead to achieve the clearly stated realistic vision.

If we draw a figure out of the above sentences, it will turn out to be a circular process. The better we are, the bigger our Leadership Cycle will be. There will be less turbulence and more positive energy when every unit of the cycle flow in uniformity. However, there are three factors that can potentially introduce gaps within this cycle. The gaps are contributed to either unrealistic vision which may put the cycle on pause or poorly communicated vision which may result in diversion of many peripheral stand-alone cycles. Both circumstances are equally destructive to the organisation. Perhaps it is time for our professional bodies to explore the potential of current technology as a mean of communication to ensure visions are clearly delivered and understood. The third factor is lack of leadership qualities in the individuals within the cycle.

Each one of us is a leader and should work in unity to build our professional Leadership Cycle. We must know how can we fit in. This is easily said than done because we do (at some point of our career) come across situations that can be frustrating; and when nothing much can be done about it (mostly due to unnecessary red tapes and lousy policies) it can be demotivating! Whether we like it or not...face it, do no turn our back and hide! Sharpen our leadership skills by analysing the root of the problem and find the most appropriate solution within the limitation.

Innovations

When is the last time we initiated something new? When is the last time we challenged ourselves to do something out of the norm?

Clinical developments

Are we joining the front line of the growing clinical developments? In the scientific world where evidence based is the only communicable langguage, we must be more than just a commentator. Pharmacists should be looking across the boundries and grab the opportunities to be hands-on in research. It is high time for us to be loud professionally otherwise we will always be the profession that has a history of rewarding clinical experience with management that does not reach any extraordinary potentials.

Patient safety

Data Rich but Information Poor : we have mega databases that are nicely kept but poorly utilised to generate information.  


Education & Training


Professional training and education is a vital investment. Many efforts has been put forward and is still taking place in our local system. The latest development is the BPS examination. A lot of ground work has taken place over the years before the recent BPS comes to reality. It would best for us to embrace the changes and look forward for the potential opportunities it may bring rather than bragging on the disadvantages. Other education and training that  we should aim to achieve in the near future are:
·         Career path (credentialing, consultant post)
·         Antibiotic stewardship
·         Medicine optimisation
·         Medication safety
·         Pharmacist prescriber


In conclusion, changing a gigantic system is difficult and almost impossible within days. It is best to stop wasting our energy pushing the wall. A more promising result is likely to be achieved by changing ourselves and the people within our reach.  Lead others to be a better leader than ourselves because change is a long term investment. There is obviously a lot of work to do in nailing clinical pharmacy practice into the health care system and there are many more challenges awaiting us. I would like to end this entry with a quote from President Barrack Obama:

 ‘Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek’ [4].


 
References:
1. UK Renal Pharmacy Conference 2012, 28-29 September 2012, Manchester
2. Dr Chris Green - Clinical Director Pharmacy & Medicines Management, Countess of Chester NHS Foundation Chair UK Clinical Pharmacy Association
3. MPS (Malaysian Pharmaceutical Society), PSD (Pharmacy Service Division MoH), MOH (Ministry of Health, Malaysia)
4.  http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/barack_obama.html#F2hvA2ldPzqCwZRd.99

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A walk in English Summer

This summer has been sober
It is like all season without sunshine
Could not rely on the forecast either
Rain drops hit on me when it says 'Today will be fine'

One morning the sun finally smile
Warm breeze passed by to kiss
Alas! Summer is here after quite a while
Everybody is out with style...bliss!

Out comes the mini shorts and flip-flops
Sun glasses, singlets and skirts
Then you'll see walking bodies with no tops
Sunbathing or playing squirts

Would you mind walking with me to Regents Park?
I want to feed the ducks, pigeons and the beautiful white swan
It is still long before dark
Plenty of time to have some fun 

Come on...let me take you to the wide green field
Can you see the squirrels on the dancing trees?
This is where I come to get the sored heart healed
Feel the wind, smell the acacia scent...hmmm peace


 Down the other end is the English garden
Tall and round water fountain greets the entrance
Pink roses, purple lavenders, yellow iris, coreopsis golden
In winter when everything is white or grey, you'll miss their presence



Myself, my friend Azy and my sister, Nora at The English Garden in Regents Park London
                                

Monday, July 23, 2012

Ramadhan Perantau

Kota London di United Kingdom adalah antara pusat pembelajaran yang mempunyai ramai pelajar Malaysia. Dalam kegembiraan menyambut Ramadhan bersama rakan seperjuangan, terselit juga kerinduan kepada suasana dan keluarga di tanahair. Bagi saya secara peribadi, apabila teringat kepada suami yang berada jauh terasa ingin untuk menempah tiket penerbangan pulang. Dari minggu ke minggu hasrat tersebut tertangguh apabila semakin banyak tugasan yang mustahil diselesaikan dalam masa terdekat. Maka, dipujuk hati supaya redha  dengan menjalani ibadah puasa di perantauan. Walaupun ada kalanya dilanda perasaan  tertekan yang bercampur baur, saya tetap yakin bahawa usaha yang konsisten akan membuahkan hasil kejayaan. Bak kata cikgu matematik tambahan semasa menuntut di MRSM Pengkalan Chepa (MRSM PC) dahulu “Takkan karbon menjadi intan tanpa tekanan”. Rakan-rakan kelas Farabi MRSM PC tahun 1996 pasti mengingati pujangga tersebut.  
Tersenyum saya sendirian apabila teringat pada seloroh seorang pegawai atasan di pejabat, Cik Kadariah, sebelum bertolak melanjutkan pelajaran disini 20 bulan yang lalu,  katanya “Awak pergi London  tahun ni, alamatnya 3 tahunlah puasa musim summer cik adik oi. Tak sempat nak habis berbuka dah nak sambung sahur!” Benar sungguh...jika di tanahair yang terletak di garisan tengah khatulistiwa, kita sudah terbiasa subuhnya pukul 6 pagi, berbuka lingkungan jam 7 malam dan menjelang 10 malam bolehlah berehat menikmati moreh setelah selesai solat tarawih.  Tetapi di London pada musim panas tahun ini, subuhnya jam 3 pagi dan maghribnya 9 malam, malah tarawihnya selesai jam 12 tengah malam! Jika ingin berehat sebentar dan bangun semula untuk bertahajjud serta bersahur, besar kemungkinan tidak terjaga langsung apatah lagi jika seharian penat mengerah tenaga dan fikiran. Sebaliknya, jika ingin terus berjaga sehingga subuh, besar pula kemungkinan terlewat bangun untuk menghadiri kuliah.  Bagi sebilangan pelajar pasca siswazah yang sedang giat menjalani kajian (seperti eksperimen makmal dan kutipan data yang masanya tidak menentu), terasa haru-biru juga dibuatnya.  Ditambah pula tahun ini sukan olimpik  berpusat di London,  merata-rata poster di semua stesen bas dan tren memaparkan saranan ‘Dear Londoners, you are advised to start your journey before 0700hours to get ahead of the Olympic games”.  Maka rutin di sepanjang Ramadhan perlu lebih berdisiplin; walaupun berpuasa 18 jam dan hanya sempat tidur dua atau tiga jam sahaja, perjalanan ke kuliah dan tugasan kajian perlu bermula seawal pagi untuk mengelakkan kesesakkan dan gangguan kenderaan awam. Walau penat mana sekali pun kami tidak mahu menggunakan alasan kerana berpuasa produktiviti berkurang dan tugasan tidak dapat disiapkan. Panji ‘Islam is the true way of life’ dan ‘Malaysia Boleh!’ harus sentiasa didokong supaya tidak mudah diperlekehkan.  Inilah masanya mempraktikan pepatah orang tua - Alah bisa tegal biasa,  hendak seribu daya tak hendak seribu dalih.
Bercerita tentang seorang sahabat saya, Azy, tentang pengalaman beliau bersahur Ramadhan pertama sambil bertugas sebagai sukarelawan pegawai keselamatan di Stadium Akuatik Olimpik, yang bertempat di Olympic Park, Stradford. Sudahlah bertugas di kawasan terbuka, unifom pula tidak cukup untuk menahan angin malam dan dingin hujan. “Bestnyer kalau dapat teh tarik panas segelas” bisik hati. Menurut beliau, dalam situasi begitu terasa sangat terharu apabila tiba waktu bersahur di mana  ahli sukarelawan non-Muslim yang datang dari berbagai negara menyapa dengan senyuman dan ramah mesra “Tomorrow is Ramadhan right…Are you going to be fasting? Anyway, there is food at the canteen for you”. Tiba-tiba hati berbunga-bunga dengan layanan baik yang diberi.  Walaupun juadah bersahur sangatlah berbeza dari kebiasaan juadah di Malaysia, iaitu sandwich, kentang lenyek, pasta dan buah; tetapi semangat untuk berpuasa diteruskan juga. Di saat inilah perbezaan budaya dan cara hidup di tempat orang menjadi cabaran untuk terus berdiri dan meneruskan kehidupan. Selain itu, hal ini secara tidak langsung menginsafkan diri beliau tentang keperitan hidup orang yang berkerja sebagai pegawai keselamatan, langsung bersyukur dengan kelebihan yang dimiliki dan ingin terus bekeja keras untuk terus maju.
Kemesraan dan kehormatan yang ditunjukkan oleh orang  tempatan terhadap penganut Islam yang berpuasa sangat baik. Hal ini juga dirasai oleh Amirrah, yang mengambil peluang bekerja sambilan sempena cuti musim panas. Kata Amirrah, majikan dan rakan-rakan sekerja beliau amat perihatin dengan keselesaan dan hak pekerja muslim yang memerlukan waktu dan ruang untuk menunaikan solat. Pengalaman beginilah yang memberi keterbukaan minda dalam bersosial tanpa mengira batas kepercayaan agama.
Solat tarawih berjemaah di kota London tidak kurang juga meriahnya walaupun di negara orang putih. Terdapat banyak masjid yang diimami ahli tahfiz, MasyaAllah. Pengalaman menunaikan solat tarawih dengan jemaah muslim tempatan yang berbagai bangsa di masjid utama London iaitu Regents Park Mosque amatlah berharga. Lunaknya bacaan imam yang mana witirnya diiringi doa yang boleh menitiskan airmata sesiapa sahaja yang mendengar membuatkan hati ini terasa amat kerdil di bumi Allah swt. Indahnya ayatMu, besarnya rahmatMu…sesungguhnya bumi ini milikMU maka tidak terasing kalimahMu dimana jua hambaMu berada. Tiba-tiba teringat kepada arwah datuk, nenek, bapa mertua dan sahabat handai yang telah dijemput illahi (semoga roh mereka tenang dialam baqa’). Pabila terasa rindu dengan suasana tarawih di tanahair, para pelajar dan rakyat Malaysia amnya bolehlah menyertai surau ibu pejabat Education Malaysia bertempat di Bayswater atau dewan restoran milik Pak Awi di Paddington yang dikelola oleh Kelab UMNO London. Disini dapat dilihat permata-permata dikalangan pelajar Malaysia yang sedang digilap. Rupa-rupanya ramai yang menghafal Al-Quran dan berbakat ustaz bertauliah, Alhamdulillah. Bagi rakan pelajar yang berjauhan, tidak dapatlah mereka menyertai moreh sepuas hati kerana perlu mengejar bas atau tren yang kebanyakkan perkhidmatannya tamat jam 12 tengah malam. Kalau tidak, terpaksalah menginap di rumah rakan-rakan yang berdekatan.
Maka kesimpulannya, menempuh Ramadhan di peratuan ada juga indahnya. Sememangnya tidak dinafikan adanya  terasa rindu, sedih, sayu dan macam-macam perasaan. Namun, perlulah ia diatasi dengan bijak supaya tidak menggangu tujuan asal berada di luar negara iaitu untuk membawa pulang ilmu dan pengalaman.
Sebagai penutup kata, kami ingin mengucapkan:

Salam Aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin kepada suami tercinta Mohd Nasrul Mohamad Noor, ibu mertua dan kerabat Hj Yusuf serta Mama, Abah, adik-adik dan sanak-saudara yang berada di KL, Kelantan dan Kedah; warga Bahagian Perkhidmatan Farmasi dan BPFK KKM, warga Jabatan Farmasi Hospital Selayang dan rakan taulan.
Norkasihan Ibrahim (Penulis), Pelajar PhD jurusan Farmasi Klinikal, University College London School of Pharmacy

Salam Aidilfitri diucapkan buat keluarga tercinta di Kedah, kaum keluarga, guru-guru dan sahabat handai yang disayangi serta tidak lupa juga kepada penaja, Telekom Malaysia dan Multimedia Universiti. Semoga Ramadhan kali ini memberi keberkatan buat kita semua. Maaf Zahir dan batin dari saya. Doakan kejayaan kami di sini.
Nur Azyyati Ahmad, Pelajar PhD jurusan Sains Komputer, King’s College London

Selamat Hari Raya kepada Mama dan Abah; Abang Tarmizi sekeluarga, Kak Inn sekeluarga, sanak-saudara di Kelantan dan Kuala Lumpur, Mama Ton sekeluarga di Selayang dan penaja, United Engineer of Malaysia (UEM).
Nor Amirrah Ibrahim, Pelajar tahun akhir jurusan Biokimia, King’s College London

Dari kanan: Norkasihan Ibrahim, Nur Azyyati Ahmad dan Nor Amirrah Ibrahim.
Lokasi foto: English Garden di Regents Park, London, UK

Friday, July 20, 2012

From Bus 453 to Purple Lavenders

Run..run..run..uphh! Not fast enough to catch bus number 453. Rattling knees and lazy bum hindered me from running faster. Oh well, it was 0730hrs on the first day of Ramadhan and without proper sahur (I over slept!). There were two missed wake-up call from Zaitul at 0230am. I could have had 45 minutes of sahur if I heard the alarm clock. Such a long explanation - hope that would make a good excuse of failing to speed up for a bus waiting just 250 meters away!  I was never a sprinter, but seriously...it was like a hint to renew the gym membership.

The next bus arrived in less than a minute. I walked up the red double deck and settled down on the very front row facing the big windscreen. A bus ride from Baker Street to St Thomas' Hospital is an approximately 40 minutes journey and passes through several interesting places around London city. First,  the peaceful green scenery of Regents Park, then the 'temptation spots' which are Oxford Street and Piccadilly Circus - because memory works better in pictorial and colours,  I can practically remember most of the 50% and 80% sale adverts of the high street brands! Further down the road would be the four black lion statues of Trafalgar Square and finally the busy yet beautiful Westminster Bridge above the River Thames where Big Ben stands tall and London Eye never stops spinning. That was where I stopped to reach the hospital across the road.  

Passing through this route routinely fades away the excitement,  but I never bore walking along the Westminster Bridge. It  reminds me of the lovely evening spent with my husband on the River Thames cruise. Back to that day, I had no clue the hospital located beside the river would be one of my data collection sites.


There is a bunch of bloomed lavenders at the sidewalk to the hospital. Some how out of no where, the combination of their purple colour and refreshing smell reminded me of the people I know who have passed away - my grand parents who filled up my childhood memory, my father-in-law a soft-spoken man full of love and a few of my friends whom I learned about thier death through Facebook notifications. No one knows if this would be our last Ramadhan. No one knows if we would still be here until the endmost day of Ramadhan. Death is so certain and very near, yet few of us are aware of its presence.

May I please take you to 1980 something, perhaps 1984 when I was 4 or 5 years old. That year, I realised there is no such thing as the Peter Pan world - children will grow up to become adults and adults to elderly, and the cycle repeats itself as and how God has had it arranged...I was very  upset with my mother for bringing me to this world. It was such a selfish act when I asked  mother  "Mama...if you know that I, one day will die, why did you bring me here? Why did you not let me remain in heaven?" What made me angry most back then was the fact that one day my parent will no longer exist! Many years later, life taught me that death does not come in sequence of age. When I graduated and started a career at the hospital setting, I could not disagree with many others out there who chose health as their outmost precious property. We may be less stable economically or renting a house while others own it or could not afford a private transport while others drive luxury cars or longing for a child while others disowned theirs, desperate for a partner while others are happily married and many more in the 'wish list'. Just imagine, if we have all those but not health...will our 'wish list' remain the same?

I would like to take this opportunity to share this Ramadhan prayer from dearest Datin Fadilah - a person who has many roles in my life. Starting from as my boss, motivator, then ex-boss, then a dear friend, a constant personal preacher and sometimes as a mother too:

"O Allah make us among those who observe fasting during Ramadhan and establish prayers during the nights of Ramadhan out of sincere Faith and hoping for the reward" 

Salam Ramadhan to you my dear readers.  

Monday, July 9, 2012

Inhale the whole wide air

It has been so long time since the last entry. I was caught up in so many events and just had the time to sit and pen down a few words. Well, like anyone cares about it anyway!

Writing to buy time for  my own pleasure, hopefully this can give a little peace of mind. This is month 20 of my PhD course; the stress is getting more intense - uh uh...not friendly at all. I am so stressed up that I wish to run away, eat chocolate cakes, fly a kite on the beach and not think about anything related to working. When you are thinking too much about something (or someone), the world seems to be up side down. I think I am already half way cracking under pressure - just gobbled six chocolate cookies a minute ago, and I still have space for a whole chocolate cake!

My parent had safely flown back home two weeks ago. I should be savouring sadness to be here without them, but I was too occupied to drag the sense of loneliness a little longer. Thanks to my sister, Nora who stayed behind until November. I  have already moved in to a new place, a cosy cute studio in London's city centre. Now, do not fancy a posh looking apartment. Technically, 10 steps from the entrance door is the bed, another 15 steps or so is the kitchenette and take 10 steps forward; that is the bathroom. Nevertheless, it is alright...I am considered lucky to get that much of space within a reasonable rental in the middle of the city. The main advantage is savings on  transportation from monthly commitment of £112 slashed down to £50. Not bad aye. The dreadful side is...it is just walking distance to Oxford Street! Oh my...got to hold my pocket tight!


Now back to academic progress - I had a meeting with my supervisor an hour ago. The meeting was so fruitful that...honestly I think I need a break. There are many ideas to think about and more knowledge to explore (this means many more papers to read!). The meeting today was about understanding the fundamental of a randomised control trial (RCT) in a clinical practice research. The element 'clinical practice' makes an RCT very challenging because there is no Right or Wrong answer to the research design. The subjective component embedded in clinical practice makes me have to be really good in defending the pragmatic approach of the study design. GOSH...writing about this makes me suffocate...Arrgghh!

Anyways...life needs to go on. At this moment, the remaining 16 months seems to be so short of time - I MUST and I HAVE to get this DONE no matter what happen, InsyaAllah.

So, my resolution for the week is...TAKE A BREAK TO CAMBRIDGE! Will be joining Abangchik, Lyn, Nora and Mr Baby Qalif. Wallawei..I hope this coming two days trip will unwind my mind and put together the scattered clouds of ideas.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Email templates

It is now 5 minutes past midnight, I am supposed to be asleep but I just could not put my mind to rest. There have been many things happening simultaneously in the last few weeks; after a long thought I decided to share the one that begins with an FB message from XX. XX and I didn't know each other; XX happened to come across my FB status on the Malaysian London Postgraduate Support FB group wall  about how Dr OT ebook helped me drafted my thesis. XX  has approximately 3 weeks to work on the 1st year report and research proposal before the PhD upgrade viva which is now 8 months delayed. In normal circumstances students are advised to upgrade (i.e pass the 1st year viva/ research defence) by month 12. This is to ensure the course completes by month 36 or atleast within the grey period (grey period runs from month 37 to 42, it is like 'injury time' to finalise and submit our thesis without additional college fee). Quoting my supervisor's words, the two most common reasons for this unfortunate circumstance originate from either (1) clash of personality between the student and/or the supervisor or (2) poor supervision. The problem XX  faces is a challenging 'student-supervisor relationship'  that leads to poor supervision.. Well it sounds like double trouble, true enough because the solution is a little bit complicated.

So, my friends (ZH and NH) and I teamed up to help XX refine the 1st year report and hopefully, pass the viva due in two weeks time from the date of this entry. NH povided the Eagle research framework booklet and ZH  bought the  booklet for XX. I helped by sharing tips on conducting literature review (from Dr OT ebook and what I learned from my SVs) and  drafted corresponding emails. XX is a very determined person and we believe she will succeed, insyaAllah. We wish XX nothing less but the very best!!

You can download the Eagle research framework free of charge from www.brjm.com V(9) Issue(2) (2011) page:  130-140. The book entitled 'Siap tesis cepat' by Dr OT can be purchased online from http://siap-tesis-cepat.com/.

In this entry, I compiled a few email templates that I have shared with XX. You probably have experienced hard time finding suitable words to complete a few sentences to email to your supervisors or research collaborators. We usually hit google bar for free samples and end up not finding what we expected. There are times where writing a short email can take longer than required (especially towards the end of the day). So, here are a few examples. They are not the very best, but I hope it would come in handy at some point:


1) Updating on the progress of a task that was given for quite some time ago
2) Asking SV who just came back from a long tiring conference to sign your document
3) Asking comments/input from co-authors of your article
4) Asking for mutual agreement from co-authors on conflicting ideas for your article
5) Gentle reminder to someone because you have not recieved the requested document
6) Building professional relationship post conference
7) Request for appointment - refer to previous entry (1st year PhD survival last part)


1) Updating on the progress of a task that was given for quite some time ago

Dear Dr ASD, 

Hope this email reaches you in good time.  

You may recall our last correspondence  in regards to  ...what was the task... about 4 months ago. I would like to update on the progress of the ...task... - it is now in the ...what's the progress so far...and we hope to have it ready for ...?.... in early November. 

Thank you/Best wishes/Cheers/Regards

2) Asking your supervisor who just came back from a long tiring conference to sign some urgent document/paperwork

Dear SOY,

Hope you are now recharged after the exciting conference in Beijing (where ever the conference is)

The ...what ever your document is... will be submitted early next week. Could you please pen down your name, initial and date on the authorship consent form by ...due date for SOY to have it done... Please find the form enclosed.

Thank you.


3) Asking comments/input from co-authors of your article


Dear All,

Please find enclosed the review article on '...title of your article...' The aim of this article is to ......

Your input as the co-author is very much appreciated. Kindly give your comments/ammendments by ...due date have this repy back to you.... (any earlier is most welcome)

Thank you


4) Asking for mutual agreement from co-authors on conflicting ideas for your article

   
Dear all co-authors

Thank you for the comments, it is very much appreciated.

There is an interesting comment by ...who the name is .... in regards to ...what ever the issue is...which I find important not only to place this topic in a receptive position but also to have an agreement from all co-authors on how this suggestion to be phrased in the final article.

I find it challenging to ...the problem with the conflicting ideas among co-authors...  because  ...state your reason(s)...
   
To start the ball rolling, I have incorporated the suggestion in the section ..abc... of the article. Please find a copy of that particluar section in pdf document enclosed. 

Would appreciate if we can come to an agreement by this Friday the 11th.

Thank you


5) Gentle reminder that you have not recieved the requested document


Dear WLM,

Sorry to interupt your busy day.

Just a gentle reminder about the ...name of the info/document... Would appreciate if the ..document/info.. can be emailed as soon as you possibly can.

Thank you

6) Building professional relationship post conference

Dear AAA,

It was a pleasure meeting you during the ...name of the conference... last weekend. 

I am very delighted to know you in person and hope that we can keep in touch for collaborative work in the near future.

Best wishes,
xvvx

Okay..now is 220am, one hour to fajr. I can't trust myself wake up before sunrise (5am) to perform the fajr prayer if I fall asleep...continue with some assignments? .. yeah I know, it is quite a boring plan :(

Anyways, I wish you all the best in what ever you are up to. Remember that everything happens for a reason..not a coincidence..not magic..not luck..it is actually pre-planned by Allah.