Gloomy

Why...why...why am I having this down moment?  Could this be the Monday Blues Syndrome? If that is so...oh my, I have not experienced this for a long time. Today is one of those days of tiresome and exhaustion even before the day starts. The drizzle rain made the gloomy day dark and it is not helping at all. It was 0900hr and am still at the studio in pyjamas. How I wish for a full body massage with lavender scented essential oil to get those stiff muscle straightened and relaxed especially around the scapula. O' Allah please don't misunderstood me...Alhamdulillah it rains and thank you Allah for giving me another day to live and worship you. But, I am feeling so down and sleepy, my eyes are sore and my shoulder aches.  Like it or not, I dragged myself off the warm comfy bed and by 12 noon I forced myself to school.  

I took a glance look at the 'to-do list'. The three things listed for today were - continue writing the Introduction chapter of the thesis (supposed to be done this morning when I was busy in bed); meeting on funding for the second study with the supervisors, and finalise the SSI form for hospital R&D application. Frankly speaking, there was no sense of excitement at all...my brain just froze. Dong...Dong...The bell from the red church on Tavistock Street strikes two. O' dear Allah, it is already 1400hr - half of my day has gone unproductive. 

While I am typing this entry, there was 6 people in the research centre including me. Everyone (except me) seems busy - the only music is the sound produced from pressing the computer keyboards, papers being flipped and clipped, and water boiling from the coffee corner. It is so quite, so bored and very depressing. I wanted to shout and scream to force the air molecules to vibrate and produce some real noise! So I stood up, open my mouth wide and sang my heart out "I believe I can FLY... I believe I can TOUCH the SKY...Flip my wings and FLY AWAY...to where my heart wants to STAY". Oh yeah that was a relief!

"O dear! Kc...you can sing?"

"I can do many awkward things when I'm stressed"

 I am missing home...I am missing him