Last February, I signed up for a 1-month gym membership and diligently worked-out at least 3 times a week with strict diet control. There were times I had to force my self to the gym because a minimum of 10 sessions were required to make the 1-month membership worth of value. So, I pre-booked evening dancing or aerobic classes a week in advance (I am useless in using the treadmill or any machines - 10 minutes max is my personal record so far).
In order to motivate myself, I bought a pair of pink and grey coloured Nike trainers and track bottom. Thanks to the extended New Year sales at Sports Direct. I also managed to rope in a group of friends into playing badminton during weekends - Farah, Faten and Era. One evening after school, out of excitement, Era and myself hopped on the bus to Lily White in Piccadilly Circus to buy badminton rackets. Era got even more excited to see Lee Chong Wei printed on Yonex packaging. Most of the 'nice to hold' Yonex rackets were more expensive (>£30) than others and the cheaper ones were 'double rimmed'. There was Cartlon on offer for £5.99! What an excellent deal we thought, before realising they were for kids. After such a fuss on selecting the 'best' racket we settled for Cartlon, single rim, £9.99 after discount from £20. There were two colours available. I chose pink (to suit my new trainers and track bottom) and Era chose blue (because there was no other choice hehe).
I remembered being constantly hungry during that month but felt 'light' and healthy. Despite of the stress in finishing the 'seemed- to be-never-ending thesis', I managed to have control over my body and mind without having to bother my parent or husband with long distance phone calls in the odd hours. However, there were many days when my mind and body disagreed with each other. Those were days I breached the diet by having KFC, brownies and lasagne with extra cheese! On the days my head felt heavy from 'thinking', I skipped the dancing classes and headed straight home for bed.
I remembered being constantly hungry during that month but felt 'light' and healthy. Despite of the stress in finishing the 'seemed- to be-never-ending thesis', I managed to have control over my body and mind without having to bother my parent or husband with long distance phone calls in the odd hours. However, there were many days when my mind and body disagreed with each other. Those were days I breached the diet by having KFC, brownies and lasagne with extra cheese! On the days my head felt heavy from 'thinking', I skipped the dancing classes and headed straight home for bed.
After much hesitant since January, I finally have the courage to step on the weighing scale. By the end of February, the scale didn't show the number that I expected it to be. I was a bit disappointed even though my jeans got a bit loose and I could fit in the few old shirts. My friends said "Jeans are more truthful than the scale", but I wanted something measurable, something that I can compare objectively. I didn't renew the gym membership for the following month as I wouldn't be able to commit in the first 2 weeks of March. My other half will be visiting during that 2 weeks and we had exciting plans (which of course, did not include visiting the gym).
- Melur
- Pak Awie
- Tuk Din
- Bonda
- Rasa Sayang
- Malaysian Hall canteen
Our planned trip outside London occupied only 4 out of his 14-day stay, meaning that visits to all restaurants would have to be within the remaining 10 days. One month of strict diet made me look forward for 'real food'. I fancied Nasi Lemak, Char Kuey Tiow, Ho Fan Noodle, Kari Laksa, Roti Canai and The Tarik Kaw. I have always wanted to have these dishes but time was a imitating factor (and didn't want to ruin the diet control back then). Now that I have a loyal partner to drag me along (yes, he would actually drag me and insist I order a meal for myself with no excuses), my head started to calculate the total calorie I would have to endure.
On our 'home meal' days, I cooked simple meal and he would give marks. For the best meal, he would give 9/10 and the less ones at least 6. Being a perfectionist I demanded a 10 for all meals! We always argued on the marks. I spontaneously listed out the hard core reasons why the marks should be higher and his rebuttal was - the mark couldn't be 10 because the remaining balance will be used to top up the next low mark. Pffttt! Nevertheless no matter what the marks were, there were seldom any left overs. We went outing with the slightest excuse to visit friends, spend hours in book stores, walk around the city and stop at coffee shops. Every outing had a sort of competition between us on who would first reached the next lamp post, touched the bonnet of a random car parked by the side way or reached the traffic light. I took these competions seriously and would sprint my heart out to be the first. I took the liberty to set random rules like 'ladies can start a few steps earlier' or 'men would have to take a few steps back' or 'men would have to carry all bags'. Having all the bias rules, there were not a time that I didn't end second place.
Despite of 2 weeks of happy eating the weighing scale showed lower number! I am aware that 2 weeks is so short of time to determine weight loss but still, I shut down the calorie calculator in my brain and happily ate full course and (sometimes) desserts too. Could it be the delayed effect of the 1-month gym and diet control? Or this is the result of being honest to both, my mind and body in the last 2 weeks. I was purely happy in all sense. I laughed, ate, ran, slept well, subconsciously exercising through sprinting competitions and felt happy. Every time the calorie calculator appeared in the ballooning cloud above my head, I imagined poking it with a sharp needle and 'pop' it was gone.
Perhaps, just perhaps…being a gym-and-calorie counter freak was useless. Refraining from enjoying delicious deep fried, chocolatey delicacies and attended gym classes halfway realising that I was too exhausted to make another move were acts of dishonesty of the mind. I demanded too much from my own mind that it could have switched off its ability to consent. My body was unwillingly working with an exhausted mind. Even a burning desire is not strong enough to act with a unhappy mind. It may work vice versa because the mind is the human's most powerful tool, it can influence the body to shake off the coated laziness and focus on the core. It was the mind that wanted the chocolate cakes, not wanting to go to the gym and went to unstable emotion. I was dishonest to my own mind by denying or not acknowledging the things that would make it happy.
There is a very thin line distinguishing the control of the mind, lust and desire in making decisions. The majority of the XX species would agree that the lines are 10 times more difficult to be distinguished in shopping missions. At a serious note, I should focus on keeping the mind healthy which will naturally lead to spiritual and physical health. Forget the scale and the invisible calorie calculator. Control the mind - work smartly, think critically, eat deliciously and live healthily.
